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Right after a hard breakup all you want is to find another chance with the one you love. Unfortunately, it can be hard to know where to begin! Here are 3 words of advice to help you out with the difficult process of getting your ex back.

1) Oddly enough, it’s actually a very effective trick to actually cut off contact with your ex for about a month after the breakup. This may seem counterproductive but in reality it’s very healthy for your efforts. It gives your ex some time to cool off and think, and you some time to organize yourself and create a plan -one thing you should never be without.

By giving yourself this month of space and time to yourself, you create the opportunity to formulate a real plan and avoid being stuck into situations you don’t know how to deal with. Winging it will only result in unfortunate consequences that weren’t a part of the plan.

2) Other people aren’t going to solve your problems for you! If you want your ex back, it begins and ends with you. Don’t deal with your breakup like you see in the movies, where the heartbroken lounge in their apartments sobbing to daytime TV until their friends bail them out by setting up a blind date or something. You have to be proactive and get things done yourself…you’re the only person you can depend on.

Even though it seems unfair, like this is too big for anyone to do alone, know that you have to depend only on yourself. You can get help, and I advise you to, but your plan for getting your ex back can only have you as the one factor it depends upon to work. Don’t count on your ex, don’t count on your friends. Count on yourself.

3) Being in the company of people who care about you is very good for you. Spend time with friends, family, friends who are so close as to almost be family…their love and support can help you find the strength you need to get yourself back on your feet and go win back your ex!

Don’t underestimate the healing power of being with people who care for you. Just having somebody makes everything seem a little less impossible,and their support is something they’ll gladly give you. Just make sure you don’t take advantage of their kindness.

These are just a few helpful words of advice for you, but here’s a much more vital one: when the month is up, don’t just rush back in without a plan. This is the downfall of many, many people…this won’t be as cut and dry as it seems, it’ll be tricky. Make sure you know exactly what you’re doing by having a real plan, preferably one that’s been tested and proven to work.